The Ninja Fat Pigeons

It was a time of Darkness… a time of Terror… a time of Pain… a time when no UK Xbox player dared log on, for fear of… THEM!

They dogged us at every turn, with endless tormented screaming, trash-talk and T-bagging! We dared not show our digital faces. They were everywhere, with their terrible war cry piercing the electronic ether… “N00b! You are so GAY…. Touch that sniper and I’ll frag you…. Your mom says Hi”

Aaaaaargh! The pain!

But then, a light. A pinpoint of hope in the eternal darkness, soon to become a shining bastion of justice for all. This new wonder came from beyond the stars to elevate us unto the gods themselves.

We are the Ninja Fat Pigeons! We are legion!

All the misery of what I once was has been burned away by the shining glory of the Pigeons, majestically replaced with what I am today.

Thanks to the Pigeons, I no longer cower in fear!
Thanks to the Pigeons, I can run faster, jump further, shoot straighter and lift REALLY big weights!
Every aspect of my life has been immeasurably improved!
Men envy me! Women lust after me!
I can do really big sums, make origami birds, sing opera and play the didgeridoo – ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
…I also make a mean Carbonara sauce!

All these gifts and more could be yours if you desire them. You need never fear the terrible transatlantic teens again!

What have you got to lose? …Nothing.
What do you have to gain? ….EVERYTHING!

The Ninja Fat Pigeons – the future’s bright. The future’s feathery.

1 comment to The Ninja Fat Pigeons

  • Anonymous

    now i want to go marry a fat pigeon…yay!, awesome by the way my favorite animals are fat pigeons cuz theyre, uhhh… fat?